Have you ever looked at someone’s meal and thought, “Ew! WTF?! Pineapple on pizza?! You’re a monster!” Everyone has their own likes and dislikes when it comes to what they put in their bellies. While some will stomach frog legs at least once in their lifetime, others would rather sell than take a whiff of the dish.
Recipe books from the days of yore ask their readers to prepare dishes using very questionable ingredients. It’s a surprise to see that people look the provided picture and think, “YUM! This looks good!” Whoever concocted these 15 weird, stomach-wrenching recipes should be shot out of a cannon into the sun.
1. Ham and Banana Hollandaise
Ham and hollandaise sauce sounds appetizing. Throw in a poached egg and you got yourself a hearty breakfast. Now, what if you replaced the egg with something like… say… bananas? Bone app the teeth!
2. Liver Sausage Pineapple
Who lives in a pineapple-shaped mound made of liverwurst, pimento olives, and covered in yellow gelatin? Whoever thought that disguising savory foods in the shape of a fruit or other sweet dish has a special place in Hell waiting for them.
3. Perfection Salad
Everybody loves Jell-O, but not everybody has the same love for veggies, especially children. The solution? Insert chopped carrots, lettuce, and celery into a Jell-O mold and call it a day. Your kids will love being tricked into eating gelatin laced with tiny pieces of vegetables. They won’t cry at all!
4. Frosted Ribbon Loaf
Before slicing into this abomination, you’d probably think it was nothing other than cake covered in sweet, sweet frosting. However, after cutting yourself a piece, you’ll realize a couple of things. First, the cake is made of eggs and ham. Second, the icing is made of cream cheese. Third, you never knew you could run so fast away from something, not even from your ex.
5. Jellied Tomato Refreshener
After a long hard day mowing the lawn or tending to your garden, you’ll probably want something to cool you down. A glass of lemonade, a can of ice-cold beer, or maybe a cold dessert. If your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse presented you with this tomato blob infused with beef broth, you just know that they don’t love you like they used to.
6. Steak Pudding
Nothing looks less like steak or pudding than steak pudding. These dumpling-like mounds are made of suet, the fat that lines the organs of sheep and cattle. In sausages and patties, suet adds a ton of flavor. As the main ingredient encasing a mixture of what and who knows, not so much…
7. Lime Cheese Salad
If your doctor tells you to incorporate more vitamin C and fish in your diet, this dish is NOT something you want to make. This dish consists of a seafood salad that sits atop a ring of lime Jell-O infused with cottage cheese. The result? A permanent ban from every kitchen anywhere.
8. Shrimp Sandwich Roll
What’s not to love about shrimp packed beneath two thick slices of Texas toast? Shrimp sandwich actually sounds pleasant, but in this recipe, the creator has no idea what “sandwich” means and instead instructs readers to roll shrimp and cakey bread into the shape of a Swiss roll. Pink frosting usually looks appetizing, but in this dish, we’re left wondering whether blended shrimp is used to color the frosting.
9. Tuna and Jell-O Pie a.k.a. Summer Salad Pie
You can call it whatever you want. We’re calling it “Gross.” The first half of the recipe sounds good. Baked pie crust filled with hardened strawberry Jell-O. However, the topping is a canned tuna salad. What in the world was the creator thinking?
10. Super Salad Loaf
The word Super is used to describe either Man or Mario Bros, not a salad, and especially not a salad encased in meatloaf. The worst thing about this recipe is that the “loaf” is made of a hallowed-out log of bologna packed with crushed peas. This dish gives you a reason to avoid processed meats.
11. Frozen Cheese Salad
To make this dish, simply purchase a block of cheese – the type of cheese is the dealer’s choice – and place it in the freezer until it hardens. Throw a couple florets of broccoli on the side and you’ve got yourself a “salad.” Feel free to break your teeth while attempting to gnaw on this thing.
12. Baked Stuffed Salmon
Presentation is everything. Baked Stuffed Salmon, when prepared by a professional chef who spent years learning culinary art, is a tasty dish. However, when presented in the shape of a fish that’s smothered in hollandaise sauce, you’re flirting with the line between genius and crazy. You know what? Scratch that. You ARE crazy if you make this.
13. Igloo Meatloaf
Meatloaf and mashed potatoes go together like meatloaf and mashed potatoes. It’s a match made in heaven. Granted, Igloo Meatloaf probably tastes good – it’s a meatloaf dome covered in mashed potatoes with a healthy spoonful of melted cheese on top. But remember how we said presentation is everything?
14. Aspic-Glazed Lamb Loaf
What’s with crazy recipe-creators and their obsession with gelatin? This concoction is pasty, ground-up lamb covered in a Jell-O. The slices of green bell pepper and radishes do nothing to stop your taste buds from vomiting.
15. Cream Chipped Beef on Toast
Chipped is another term for sliced, so this is basically a creamy mix of sliced beef poured atop several slices of bread. I’m sure there are plenty of dishes out there based on putting beef between slices of bread and actually taste good. This creamy mix probably tastes just as bad as it looks, and it looks horrible.